- Seasonally bubbly.- 4/5 Libra.
- 4/5 AB- blooded gal.
- Reason- oriented person.
- What's done is done, what's gone is gone. One of life's lessons is always moving on. Getting over a first love, dealing with heartbreak, dealing with death and dealing with life. It's ok to look back and think of fond memories, but keep moving forward and you will live your life happily.
A beacon of bliss
It has been a long time since lovey- dopey scenes drive me nuts and make me cry so badly.
Back to VN where I am supposed to have a person waiting for me like 8 months a ago, I am in no mood for going back to the past corners. Every corner is teeming with memories. That’s all I feel and see.
It feels strange, eccentric, weird, cranky, foreign, different and new to me- here w/o you. I don’t want to step out on the street and fake a smile with my friends. I don’t want to kinda talk about you in front of others and wear a mask of sarcasm and confidence. I don’t want to explore every corner here with new people.
Recalling feels so good. At least, I am happy because we had wonderful memories :)
That’s it. That’s you, come and go, fleeting and transitory. I remember a quote in A Walk to Remember “Love is around here, we can’t see it but can feel it, like the wind”. Our own world is still in existence, I am happy because it still feels so clear to me :) And like a treasure chest, it needs to be folded for a long time after a disclosure so that it could stay valuable :)
Waking up from a nightmare seems to haunt my soul the rest of the day. Choked with mixed feelings, I feel like writing something even if a pile of assignment is still awaiting me.
Classic, delicate voice of Paul McCartney touches the deep of my soul. It kinda stirs up the part which was buried long time ago somewhere in my mind, my heart and my life. Then the reminiscence comes again, echoes through and tears down my wall. It turns out to be here to stay, just waiting for any opportunity to explode. A flicker of bliss exudes from my soul, maybe it signals that I am still feeling something, still emotional but indifferent.
It has been a long time since I learnt to please with the world I build up to save myself from life complications. It has been a long time since I lived as a cocoon enjoying freaking boring days of living in its own shelter and waiting for something intensive to wake it up. It has been a long time since I filled my soul with Lana Del Rey, Duffy,Glen Hansard spirit rather than savoring the beauty of such a love song as Only Love Remains.
And here it goes again, the song lightens up my chaotic world, nestle my ambivalent mind and subdue my bewildered heart. Perhaps this could last only within tonight, perhaps it could fade away in any second, but the sudden beacon of hope still feels fresh, pure and divine. The Lana Del Rey spirit could come immediately right after, but that’s in your 20s. You begin to take off your rose-colored glasses and see the world for what it really is…reality. The reality is that you have to put on a disguise smile, a camouflage feelings and engross yourself deep in sh*t stuff to forget a etched scar long time ago. That’s why you should strive to be more fabulous every day, even if it is just to show your haters how to hate.
And whatever happens today, tomorrow morning will be better.
Do you remember the time I told you that there’s more to this life than waiting for Death to stop crossing her t’s and dotting her i’s and checking her list and checking it twice to finally get to our names? I remember the time I told you that we’ve got two hands but one is for holding mine and…
(Source: tylerknott.com, via tylerknott)
I feel like the whole sky is shouldering on me. I feel like I am the most sinful, despicable and useless in this world. I feel like this is gonna be the last day of my beautiful youth. I feel like I am not worth considering by anyone any more.
What is done is done. It is not worth crying over spilt milk. I try to convince myself with such cliche’, to mesmerize myself with the idea of being sorry and remorseful. But the guilt has such a giant mouth that it keeps a firm brace around my heart and my soul and never easily let it go.
I was at first f*cked up, then sorry, then anxious, then stressed, then indifferent and then emotionless. I feel like dying. Yes! DYING may be the most apporpriate word to describe my feeling now.
MY whole life is gonna be sucked deeply into a humiliation ditch. I am no longer confident enough to raise my head and talk to people with dignity. I myself forsakes my own dignity from now on.
Anyway, it sets a fucking perfect lesson for me to learn. Anyway, through this I know who I should stay with and who I should keep a distance to. Anyway, it teaches me a priceless lesson of credibility, trustworthiness, dignity and wisdom.
I am so insane. I am lame.
Banana Cake
Ingredients:
1/2 cup butter
1 1/2 cups sugar
2 large eggs, beaten
2 cups flour, sifted
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/4 teaspoon baking powder
1/2 cup milk
1/4 teaspoon vanilla
3/4 teaspoon baking soda (add to pureed bananas)
3 pureed bananas, very ripe
Cream Cheese Frosting:
1/2 stick butter, softened
8 oz. cream cheese, softened
1 box powdered sugar (1 lb.)
2 teaspoons vanilla extract
Directions:
1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees F. Grease and flour a 9x13” baking pan or two 9” layer cake pans.
2. Cream butter, sugar and eggs. Sift flour several times, then add the salt and baking powder to the flour.
3. To the creamed butter mixture, add the milk and flour (alternating, beginning and ending with flour).
4. Add vanilla and mashed bananas (with the baking soda added to the bananas) to this mixture.
5. Bake layer cakes (9”) for 25-30 minutes, oblong (9x13”) for 35-40 minutes.
Frosting Directions:
1. Mix cream cheese and butter until smooth, add sugar and vanilla and blend well. Spread on cooled cake.
